Monday, June 9, 2008

You've got to be @$%#-ing kidding me,

As I stated once upon a time in my "Statement of Principals" I try and see all sides of a political issue. I try and remain dispassionate and rational and look for the most easily reached compromise in any given situation. I give credit where credit is due, and think that the opposite team dose have a point some times, even if they still end up being wrong at the end. There is one issue where I cannot and never will see the other side of the issue, not because it doesn't exist, but because I hate it with a black unending loathing that roils the pit of my stomach and burns my soul with the brimstone and fire of hades' realm. An issue so vile that the mere mention of the subject around me has caused friends to flee for there lives from the impending wrath and pontification I am about to unleash. A topic that I hate SO MUCH I have driven away friends over it and nearly assaulted loved ones.

And no, it's not the Designated Hitter Rule.

It's Pot. Marijuana. Weed. That vile toxic substance that poisons our atmosphere and fuels the rotting minds of a thousand filthy vile scumbags that walk my streets, breath my air and dare despoil my precious America with there filthy hippy potheaded schemes!

I loath the substance with a passion unbridled and unrivaled in my life, there is nothing on this great green earth I loath more. When I was first asked, as a young boy, if I could be a law-maker and propose a law what would it be, I didn't ask for universal health care for my GIJoes, or mandatory cookie hour, or even day-long recess, like so many of my young peers did. I asked for a mandatory death penalty for the disgusting, feculant, abhorrent, unwholesome FREAKS that used the disgusting plant. I would have traded every recess, every cookie, every second of my life to just end the existence of the mindless drones that consumed that horrid, foul, nasty, nauseating, vile, ugly drug. And not just the death penalty, the permission to watch as we dispatch the repellent, revolting, sickening wretches that disgrace our country with there every breath! AND HAVE THE WHOLE THING TELEVISED SO THAT WE CAN WATCH THEM ALL SCREAM IN AGONY AS THEY DIE FOR THERE SINS AND THEY CAN SERVE AS EXAMPLE TO THE OTHER STONERS TO REPENT BEFORE WE GET THEM ALL!!!*

[deep breath]

Ahem...In short I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY hate it. I'll go into the reasons why another day, but so long as you've got the jist that I don't like the stuff we can move on. Everybody ready? good.

My least favorite FORM of this substance is Medical Marijuana, AKA Illegal Marijuana coupled with Insurance and Medical Fraud. The stupidest state in the union, California*, has passed a repulsive law that makes it legal for you to smoke what I will hereinafter refer to as "the devil's anal leavings" (TDAL for short) IF you are dying or in extreme levels of pain. Glaucoma, cancer, Parkinson's, all the really painful horrible ways to die. Sounds reasonable dosn't it?


The glorious luminous beings at the BBC*** have done what the pathetic losers in our media have failed to do thus far. EXPOSE the filthy business for what it is! BACK DOOR POT LEGALIZATION! Selected quotes from the horrifying article-
  • "the 420 Evaluation Center... a 'medicinal clinic' where 'qualified patients' could obtain a doctor's recommendation allowing them the legal use of marijuana. They offered a $25 discount for new patients."
  • "According to the rules you have to be virtually at death's door, suffering from cancer, Aids or multiple sclerosis or in chronic pain in order to qualify. The best I could come up with was anxiety...We spent a few minutes shooting the breeze about Asian cuisine and [the doctor] signed a prescription for medicinal marijuana, valid for a year... And that was it. Done and dusted in less than 10 minutes."
  • My friend Will was waiting for me when I got outside... "You see, I told you," Will beamed. "This place is like Amsterdam."
  • "My prescription did not place a limit on the amount of marijuana I could buy a day"
  • "Yet with some dispensaries installing vending machines in order to deal with out-of-hours customers you have to wonder if the situation is in danger of becoming a farce."
  • "250,000 Californians are said to carry prescriptions for medicinal marijuana... who knows how many of them - like me - suffer from little more than the occasional bout of self-doubt."

It's like AMSTERDAM?!?! that crime-ridden cesspool!? You got a prescription for Anxiety!?!? TDAL Vending machines?! I... I... I need to hit something!

People who argue that Medical Marajuiana is anything but a backdoor legalization of TDAL are utterly full of shit.

I've heard rumblings that the federal goverment is planning on shutting down California's little misadventure into plucking the devils ass-hairs and smoking them. I pray they do. This needs to come to a grinding halt, right now!

I now return you to semi-rational commentary****. Good Night*****.

*I realize that killing people for doing TDAL is not a good idea. I was young and hotheaded. Now I just want users beaten badly and injected with a chemical that WILL kill you if you do any more pot. Dealers we can still have the death penalty for right off the bat.

**California only stupidist state in the union as of time of this writing. Other states with this wrongheaded and gross law are Alaska, Hawaii, Maine, Nevada, Oregon and Washington. They are also stupid stupid stupid states.

***The people at the BBC are left-leaning losers that let there personal political affiliations get in the way of reporting. This time they managed to please me, so I'm heaping on the praise. Don't expect more of it from me BBC!

****Rationality not guaranteed.

*****Unless you're smoking pot or are high right now (or have ever done that ever). Then I hope you choke to death in your sleep you filthy assholes.

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